The River Returns - A Collection of Tanka poems

1

She hears the voice


of unrealized bliss in


the coos of koel


at the window sill this evening


rains love and delight

2

His message to meet


at moon rise among the flowers


sparkles a secret


on her smiling face passion


glows with charming fervor

3

She is no moon yet


she drifts like the moon, takes care


of him from the sky—


meets him for short, waxing


leaves him for a long, waning

4

Before going to bed


she looks too sad to have


any sweet dream:


the lonely lamp glints no love


and no star peeks through the curtains

5

Yearning to meet him


she turns a silk-worm spinning


love-silk in cold night—


stands in a shade melting tears


like a candle, drop by drop

6

Stains of dried dewy


tears on the eyelids tell of


the load on her mind:


clothed in spring the willow twigs


reveal the changed relation

7

Locked in the shadows


of unrolled curtains her love


in the lone boudoir:


she plays tunes on the guitar


flowers fade at the windows

8

She senses all things


changing as she passes through


the city again:


should I leave the old house or


lie in the grave before death

9

Twisting tassels


round her finger fears coming


of night in bed:


octopus grips the body


and buckles into disgrace

10

At the river


she folds her arms and legs


resting her head


upon the knees and sits


as an island

11

Is it her quietus


that she roars in herself


like a sea


waves upon waves


leaps upon herself?

12

Gods couldn't change the rhythm


of the body and its needs:


erotic scars stick—


after three decades love waves


tense the flesh and rock the night

13

When the sun is erotic


and the moon lyric


the winds turn tempestuous


in the orbit of love


legs slide by calls of nature

14

Before the foamy


water could sting her vulva


a jelly fish passed


through the crotch making her shy—


the sea whispered a new song

15

Swirling spiral


of her skirt spills tides of dream


and memory:


I breathe fire in the dance


forgetting bends and twists

16

When I wanted to change


seats my friend said she can


only if the door's locked


the light out and her mom


in another city

17

When I inhale in


your mouth and exhale stroking


hair or caressing


I ride you into joy and


make you hail morning like earth

18

Life limits between


whence the sun rises and where


it goes to relax:


joys of a fleeting moment


I see Aditi in your eyes

19

When I have no home


I seek refuge in the cage


of your heart and close


my eyes to see with your nipples


the tree that cared to save from sun

20

The smile you weave splits


the sun I lose my direction


in clouds that cover


the banks darkening the white


of the lake moon kissed

21

Winter is caught in


waves of narrow discussions


under the blanket


fingers move by nipples erect


without sensing consummation

22

Drinking evening star


blue green patterns before eyes


no meditation


no god visits to forgive


the sinning soul in solitude

23

Exhausted she sleeps


unaware of my presence


this warm night carefree


I croon my spring song alone


and fill the void with new dreams

24

As I repose in


the wrinkles of her face


I feel her crimson


glow in my eyes her holy


scent inside a sea of peace

25

The room has her


presence every minute


I feel she speaks


in my deep


silently

26

Love is the efflux


from her body spreading


parabolic hue—


enlightens the self I merge


in her glowing presence

27

Looking at her face


for the glint of her nosepin


or rise of renku


they couldn't finish but form


in their eyes together

28

Your vacant eyes


reveal this city:


dim, humid, absent-minded


orchestrates bronchial noises


'quake in the face

29

Living in dust smoke


and white darkness I know


I just flicker—


stand alone like a lighthouse


lost in the fog of seashore

30

What should I do


about the mornings


that couldn't be:


now fog controls


appearance of the sun

31

Breathing pipe choked


with coloured dust celebrate


spring in coalfield:


the moon mocks my nightly plight


I look for the inhaler

32

The chilly wind blows


to freeze my feet and fingers


tonight I can't rise


and silence the whisperings


storming the vacant room

33

Ghosts rise to mate


in moonlight tear the tombs


frighten with fingers


rhino horns rock the centre


granite sensation

34

I lost my sleep


over a thought I could not


make my own:


the sun's antidote changed


the voice of the wind

35

Sleeps the night with


desires wrapped in blanket—


spring in the eyes


gods couldn't change the rhythm


of the body and its needs

36

Drugs don't diagnose so


let's kiss our sneezes


into each other and stop


worrying about repression


necessary or surplus

37

Watching the waves


with him she makes an angle


in contemplation:


green weed and white foam break


on the beach with falling mood

38

Crazy these people


don't know how to go


down with the swirl and


up with the whirl but


play in the raging water

39

They couldn't hide the moon


in water or boat but now


fish moonlight from sky:


I watch their wisdom and smile


why I lent my rod and bait

40

A cloud-eagle


curves to the haze


in the west


skimming the sail


on soundless sea

41

I thought I'd exchange


my anxieties for a bit


of peace but thinking


was easier than happening:


I couldn't even sleep

42

Standing at the edge


I long to float with waves and


wave with instant wind:


on the dream water's breast


I read tomorrow's wonder

43

My hand held out


in the dark remained empty:


no one reached it


to give joy of


the meeting hands

44

The heat inside will


reduce with the flow of blood


and cactus may bloom


in desert of flesh again


the heart may feel the green wave

45

The truth of our

togetherness is more real


when we lie filling


our body with each other


silencing sensation

46

I fear the demons


rising from my body


at midnight crowding


the mind and leading the soul


to deeper darkness

47

Sleeps the night with


desires wrapped in blanket—


spring in the eyes


gods couldn't change the rhythm


of the body and its needs

48

Awake in dream time


he looks for the candle—


love's invitation


lighting up in the dark


and sings the body's song

49

The nightqueen fragrance


seeps in through the window


coupled with full moon


adds to my delight though I'm


alone in my bed tonight

50

The sleep is buried


in sex for diversion


yoga or prayers:


the dawn preserves bitter eyes


in the day's bleak passage

51

An insomniac


weak with desires and prayers


hears the heartbeats


rising fast with dark hours


survives one more nightmare

52

Seven times he moves


round the vermillion god


under the peepal


sprinkling water to escape


the malefic Saturn

53

He watches the mound


of dead leaves in the backyard


to grow dreams after


the end of summer and drought:


rains nurture seeds birds buried

54

Muttering Tablet


of Ahmad in TV noise


he lies on the sofa


by window seeking


post-lunch nap for change

55

Bored with politics


and news of falling sensex


he folds the paper


and flips through the old PLAYBOYs


to see the nudes seen in youth

56

She receives my call


complaining why I didn't go


to see my father


while he says it's alright


only gums bleed and joints ache

57

Gentle like a dove


love was graceful a night away


on the white wave it's


a sea searching ways leaps to


eternity tonight

58

The bamboo garden


we picknicked and made love in


is now all concrete—


managing environment


and pollution control

59

The power goes off


suddenly summer heat chokes


in bed sleepless she turns


undoing a hook or two


of her tight bra

60

Greeting the first rains


after months of soaring heat


the lone rose flutters


little petals to the ground


echoing our first embrace

61

Shining on rose leaves


silken layer of dew drops:


gloss of her mauve smile


she blushes when I tell her


beauty of the blooming rose

62

Roses await


sun and wind to clear


the baleful fog:


I fear she'll say no


to my love again

63

I'm no romantic


turning sufferings to bliss


and delude in


heavenly meeting with god


or life's grandeur and greatness

64

I'm human and feel


their meanness every moment


get angry and lose


my sleep as the earth writhes in


the pain butchers knives inflict

65

There's little save


poetry and prayer


to put up with


rising darkness in and out


and god too is silent

66

Couldn't be happy with


my present nor could realize


any dreams all these years—


there's nothing to look back


to say I lived my life well

67

The chart predicts


I must keep the company


of the righteous


but how to find one among


the wicked that write our fate

68

Psalms or no psalms;


workers of iniquity


shoot their arrows


with praising lips and god


flees to see their shrewd schemes

69

Recedes into self:


crooked trees and leaking roofs—


the city conspires


swarmed with listless spirits


young and living, slowly dying

70

Hiding or waiting


it raises its head when least


expected, a snake


glitters in the eyes, looks for


the moment to reveal fangs

71

Crudity


of the stone conceals


grace of nudity


the image of Kali


reveals to her devotee

72

The sun


on a mountain


grave illumines the path


to divinity unrealized


in soul

73

With steel flow


the rolling water


pierces the rocks


shapes them into stars


turned into river's song

74

She visits


a beauty parlour


to erase wrinkles


and returns with the same


wintry darkness

75

The lips in her eyes


and long hours in the mouth—


no moist secret


between us to reveal:


now our backs to each other

76

All her predictions


could come true had I paid her


the fees for her writing


psychic reflections on dreams


I failed to realize in life

77

Wrinkles on the skin


remind me of time's passage


year by year traveled


long distances renewing


spirit and waving good bye

78

Stray fungi grow


on the broken window frames


beside my bed


watery smell swells as if


a corpse in the river

79

Feeling the difference


between a tin house and

a weather proof tent:


on the Yamuna's bank


Kumbh deluge to wash sins

80

With black and white marks


and nest of ants on its skin


the tree grows taller


shining through the geometry


of sun, moon and halogen

81

My voice


brown like autumn


crushed in noises I can't


understand days pass in colours


buried

82

Layers of dust thicken


on the mirror water makes


the smut prominent:


I wipe and wipe and yet


the stains stay like sin

83

In the forest of your hair


my finger searches


the little pearl of blood


that stirs the hidden waters


and contains my restlessness

84

The sun couldn't help


nor fish protest:


river has no sex


so it dried up


trapped in its own banks

85

I'm no river


flowing toward the sea:


I must find my way


asking strangers in strange places


sensing soul, using insight

86

The otter watches


a duck walking on


the frozen river


icicles drop bit by bit


from a lone tree

87

I couldn't understand


what's Hindu about having


fish and onion


after prayers by the river


in the temple courtyard

88

Fears to see


his own image in


her eyes so


avoids seeing her again


betrays his cowardice

89

They watch her bare back


to feel the body through crotch


thank engraving pen


she loves the etching on skin


to enhance nudity

90

Dancing on


the car top a girl


holds the mike


to express her love


twists the audience

91

Slung-jawed awake


two grinning skeletons sit


bolt upright in bed


hear the shrieks next door but


too scared to call the police

92

The nightly ghosts crowd


my mind's passage to forge


gods' names in disguise


I fail to scan the face


of thought and life in the dark

93

The chill outside


deprives me of the bright moon


I breathe in my fears:


asthmatic bouts haunt and


jealousy itches the throat

94

Night's prisoned friends


keep me awake with planes


flying over the ashram


every now and then I watch


the directions matter

95

One thousand miles


traveling together


in tense silence


he and she contemplate


the next round of duel

96

I can't cement cracks


nor save the frames from collapse:


the wreck reveals the myth


I need not knit new dreams


if truth's so cold and stingy

97

The yellowing patch


on the lawn won't green with


pesticides—


the water infects the roots


even if I am drying up here

98

Each night speaks to me


in flatulence, wheezing


and pain in the legs:


god intervenes at times


in momentary union

99

With years of rubbish


he reeks of aborted dreams


lives a stagnant pool


cut off from the running source


rots in the marsh like a frog

100

They own little earth


and seek to auction the sky:


excel by default


god too becomes a party


to their flight with wax wings

101

Lying all day


with pain in the heels


and sinking heart


I read tanka and wait


for miracle to sleep

102

Burning without warmth


one more hot and sweaty spell


of summer, restless


down with stroke, without light, fan


exhausted, alone in bed

103

Ageing he thinks of


the ashes and the long trip


ahead in spirit


feels the earth he would


become celebrating life

104

New leaves welcome


his shadow near the window


the telephone rings


perhaps to greet Naw Ruz:


I didn't pray or keep the fast

105

Like tramps and dogs


they piss and shit I see


I'm sucked in my own cracks:


now curl and cry


but none bother

106

With moral twists


name of god or religion


they fly planes to bomb


sheep of his pasture and


expect grace for humankind

107

Preaching peace


explode 'plane bomb, car bomb


human bomb


and bluff the living corpses


with politics of terror

108

They claim to kill satan


mass murder innocents


and blow themselves up:


I wonder how god condones


vague prophets and their cult

109

From the border rings


he's stationed dangerously:


any moment war


may break out for their follies


he must kill and live…to kill

110

In my impatience


I werdle or opup more:


they take their own time


here waiting is more aweful


than meeting or going

111

Vibration of thought


with their venom in groups


my spirit disturbed


I lose desire to live here


conceal my angst in tanka

112

Concealing mourning


in twilight gaze he explores


the shaping nightmares:


colours of the rainbow guard


the beasts at the day's entrance

113

Their loose tattle


or loitering on the street


changes nothing


not even the hand they wave


to penetrate the body

114

Surging like a wave


they image in the air and


end up wriggling worms


hiding through the thick hedges


digging the dark undergrowth

115

Naked children crowd


as I pass through the alleys


between smelly slums:


dogs bark to alert them to


the presence of a stranger

116

Swallowing capsules


he trusts in absent healing


seeks intercessions


to cure allergic asthma


and the cyst not contracting

117

Is it the water


or sweat flowing from the cleft


they queue up to drink?


not far away the masons cut


rocks to build a new highway

118

The sun of knowledge


shining through the beer bottle


under the neem tree:


carousing, singing in praise


of gods and ghosts that never drank

119

He takes out the letter


and writes a poem on its back


recalling the last words


winds whispered through the stars


that still shine in the sky

120

Waving arms of trees


conspire with overcast day


to drench again


the two of us look for shade


under leaking umbrella

121

Over the dried moss


rains have grown new layers


making the path more


slippery for all of us


falling is a postscript now

122

Laden with new shoots


the trees promise mangoes


to celebrate summer:


the dust-storm and rain shatter


all hopes hanging by snapped wire

123

Waiting for the remains


of sacrifice vultures


on the temple tree


stink with humans and goddess


on the river's bank

Copyright:


R.K.Singh


Professor & Head


Dept of Humanities & Soial Sciences


Indian School of Mines


Dhanbad 826004 India

Published by Prakash Book Depot, Bara Bazar, Bareilly 243003 India. ISBN 81-7977-188-1